Do you ever walk by a group of people that you just want to run up to and ask their name and to be friends? No? Well I do. Every. Single. Day.
Being in Florence, the tourists come in like bees surrounding honey in a hive. There are new students studying here, students visiting, and the typical tourists coming to see the infamous Duomo and carry around a huge map pretending to know where they're going when really, they are completely lost.
Right now in Florence there are over 4000 American students staying for school, including myself. There are days when I walk by myself and I see a huge group of people gathering in a piazza to go somewhere or just to meet up. Even if they're Italian or American, I want to approach so many of them. There are groups of guys that will just look over at me and my friends and we're just not sure what to do or how to respond. Should we go over there? Should we be creeped out? I mean, most of these groups are our age and here for the same reason. I feel like if I do approach them, one of two things will happen:
1. They will start a conversation and we will hopefully hang out and be glad we met.
2. They will be so creeped out by us that walk away and leave you standing there in shame.
Obviously, you would want the first one, but I think the fear of the second one happening is what prevents us from approaching random kids on the street. I think one day I will approach one of those groups of guys and pray that the first option occurs. If not, at least I know that I tried and can say that I did try to attempt to be more outside my box when it comes to socializing.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Model Thin or Double Chin?
The human body = Stress!
That's how I define it. Constantly, people are thinking about their weight, their physic, the shape that their body is in daily. I'm not going to lie, I'm one of them. I'm 5'1". I'm very short, and weight is put constantly for me. I'm not saying I'm overweight or I'm completely unhappy with my body. But, I am jealous of other people; and I'm not the type to get jealous. I have friends that are stick thin, that eat horrible food. I also have friends that are stick thin because of eating disorders. I even have friends that are models and are only 17 years old, and all you see is bone. But for some reason, I want that, and so do many others. Not to be anorexic or be showing bone, but to have that body that everyone looks at and becomes envious.
Nobody wants to have double chins and a belly you can look down and see. But what I don't understand is why am I so obsessed to look good? Is it because we want a boy? Is it because we want to be constantly looked at? Or is it just because we know it'll make us feel good inside?
Why do I suck in my stomach every time a picture of me is taken? Why am I so body conscious???
I need to have belief in myself and so does everyone else that beauty comes from within. Many people told me I'm beautiful and I have a hard time taking that in. I hate saying it but I think I'm at that age where being thin is what I'm supposed to be. I eat something bad and I feel awful about it. I don't want to be like that. I want to be so confident in myself that I can eat whatever and can look in the mirror every single day and tell myself "You are Beautiful."
....and I have yet to do that.
Bathing suits are everyone's enemy. Putting one on is like death to so many people. Everyone stares at you and your figure thinking if that bathing suit is too small for your body shape or if they want the body you are showing off. I'm sure right now, 95% of women are working their bodies to the highest limit in order to be prepared for beach season. I'm not going to lie, I'm getting ready to diet. But I'm a teenager....the word diet should not be a part of my vocabulary yet. But it is. Looking good is being pressured on us all the time making us feel uncomfortable and drastically changing the way we eat and exercise.
I wish like the rest of the world that I was thin and could pull off any outfit.
At the same time. I don't. I want to be unlike the rest of the girls and pull off something that most women are afraid to: A healthy looking woman, bigger than a size 0.
Time to take that stand. Time to be different.
That's how I define it. Constantly, people are thinking about their weight, their physic, the shape that their body is in daily. I'm not going to lie, I'm one of them. I'm 5'1". I'm very short, and weight is put constantly for me. I'm not saying I'm overweight or I'm completely unhappy with my body. But, I am jealous of other people; and I'm not the type to get jealous. I have friends that are stick thin, that eat horrible food. I also have friends that are stick thin because of eating disorders. I even have friends that are models and are only 17 years old, and all you see is bone. But for some reason, I want that, and so do many others. Not to be anorexic or be showing bone, but to have that body that everyone looks at and becomes envious.
Nobody wants to have double chins and a belly you can look down and see. But what I don't understand is why am I so obsessed to look good? Is it because we want a boy? Is it because we want to be constantly looked at? Or is it just because we know it'll make us feel good inside?
Why do I suck in my stomach every time a picture of me is taken? Why am I so body conscious???
I need to have belief in myself and so does everyone else that beauty comes from within. Many people told me I'm beautiful and I have a hard time taking that in. I hate saying it but I think I'm at that age where being thin is what I'm supposed to be. I eat something bad and I feel awful about it. I don't want to be like that. I want to be so confident in myself that I can eat whatever and can look in the mirror every single day and tell myself "You are Beautiful."
....and I have yet to do that.
Bathing suits are everyone's enemy. Putting one on is like death to so many people. Everyone stares at you and your figure thinking if that bathing suit is too small for your body shape or if they want the body you are showing off. I'm sure right now, 95% of women are working their bodies to the highest limit in order to be prepared for beach season. I'm not going to lie, I'm getting ready to diet. But I'm a teenager....the word diet should not be a part of my vocabulary yet. But it is. Looking good is being pressured on us all the time making us feel uncomfortable and drastically changing the way we eat and exercise.
I wish like the rest of the world that I was thin and could pull off any outfit.
At the same time. I don't. I want to be unlike the rest of the girls and pull off something that most women are afraid to: A healthy looking woman, bigger than a size 0.
Time to take that stand. Time to be different.
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